HOLDING ON TO HOPE
This is so true. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve been up and down and through the wringer, if it wasn’t for God pushing me….speaking poetry, helping me through these painful times I don’t know where I’d be….maybe a babbling maniac….lol I CAN’T AND I won’t’ GIVE UP OR GIVE IN TO THIS NEW PAIN MONSTER….
Writing is the only thread that I’m hanging onto right now…..I WILL WIN!!!!
HANGING ON TO HOPE
Dear Lord, I feel so lost today
Dealing with this broken vertebra
I’ve spent thirty-five years trying to control my pain
Now this broken bone is driving me insane
I’m usually stronger, but I’m losing my spirit
I can barely move anymore and medications won’t clear it
I try every day, to keep going on
But this broken vertebra won’t’ heal and it’s taking so long
I’m back in a world of pain, silence and isolation
Each day I would wake up with gratitude and anticipation
I help so many others get out when they’re stuck
But, this broken bone is leaving me in such a rut
Dear Lord, help me heal, help me hold on to my faith
I fear I’ll return to the previous world that I hate
Where I’ll become an experimental pawn in medical madness
Having this fear is causing me so much sadness
It seems the noose on my neck gets tighter each day
And I feel my motivation, my spirit and my dreams slip away
A prison of pain is all that I’ve known
But I freed myself out before, as I’ve learned and I’ve grown
Dear Lord, I need you now to speak louder and clear
Help me regain my momentum, my excitement, my flair
All the tools and techniques are not making a dent in this pain
And Lord, I fear that this new pain will drive me insane…..
(c) Giggles the Poet
August 17, 2018
I usually don’t talk about my serious problems, but I can’t deny this anymore, or pretend that I’m not frightened by what’s been happening in my body since this vertebra broke over six months ago. I keep trying to push past the pain daily, but it comes back like a monster that won’t leave me in peace.
It’s taken me thirty-five years to learn how to control the nerve damage, “complex regional pain syndrome” after I was misdiagnosed in 1985. And I was on top, on my game, and so proud that I found a way to conquer the daily nerve pain, Fibromyalgia and destruction that was caused by a broken rib everyone misdiagnosed as “rhomboid muscle strain, or PSTD.”
A broken bone is far different than muscle problems…..and now, I’m back to where I fought so hard to get out of “MEDICAL MADNESS” isolation and silence…Lord, help me out again……
WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE WILL BE A WAY….
Love and hugs my angels
Giggles the Poet