ALONE

alone

I was never in a yearbook
And I was not in your class
You never saw me wandering
I have no memories of my past
My fears were never mentioned
I did not have a mouth
You never saw me in the day
And you never, ever heard me cry out
I walked in such darkness daily
And what light I saw was pale
I ran in the winter to be free
But got caught and thrown in jail
They set me free, but I was watched
The rules I broke I paid a price
The days were long, as was my wish
That one day I would find someplace nice
I built my armor from within
My voice was silent years would pass
In each new home waited another nightmare
My time was short it would not last
But, great adventures follow a loner
Off once more I go alone
Far from the isle where I was born
Far from the place, where I had no home
In another place, I built new memories
Wrought not with anger, nor with pain
New friends await a weary traveler
A special friend gave me a name
I built new memories for a future
But time was short I was misled
I was injured and the doctors that I thought I knew
Were dark inside and full of dread
The cuts and scars that maimed my body
Seven experimental surgeries I could not control
I walked daily through a living
nightmare
Left without a thread of hope to hold

Like Alice in Wonderland, I fell down a hole
And I got lost in a world not many will know
Like the prisons, I lived in when I was a child
I was lost in a system; I had no control
This silent pain no one could see
The injury many refused to believe
Lost in medical madness, labeled and broken
By twelve doctors who wouldn’t help, but only deceived
Year after year I fought to set things right
To clear my name and the uncertainty
In report after report, I pleaded for justice
And year after year, no one listened to me
It has been twenty-three years, I’m still caught in a nightmare
I will not back down until this medical madness ends
I know one day someone will wake up and take notice
And they will help me finally find a way to help my mind and body to mend

Somewhere on my journey time was shifted
I came out into a world I did not know
And like a Phoenix rising from the ashes
Courage and faith are my greatest gifts, as I continue to grow…

Life is not a dress rehearsal.  Make each moment count, you don’t know when it’s your last…

If I can do it….so can you…..God will pull you through….

I grew up in the foster care system.  It’s unfortunate that I was born into a world of chaos from the day of my birth.  Abusive parents, and then abusive foster homes.  I can’t remember much from my childhood, so I don’t get to share memories.  I hope that my next life will be a little easier to live….

We are not defined by abuse, nor are we defined by our parents.  God, Mother Nature and the Universe has always been my parents…..and they have never steered me wrong.

Our minds is a powerhouse of possibilities.  I’ve seen many sides of life and know that it’s too easy to give up.  We have untapped potential within our mind with healing qualities…..and through this, I have found my way out.

I found new ways of dealing with pain, new ways of dealing with doubts and found answers to questions that helped me grow out of my own prison…..and into a whole new world of possibilities…..a connection with like-minded individuals who are learning the powers of the mind……and how to eliminate fear….doubt and become the person God meant for you to be……it’s never too late…..

The past only teaches us the beauty of what the future will hold…..see nothing else…..look for the good in all things, and opportunities will abound….take time with yourself, to truly get to know yourself and settle your mind……you have many things to experience yet, let go of the past, to make room for the future…..

 

 

 

 

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